Size Matters. So Count the Inches.

*This applies solely for the first dinner date*

So… you’ve managed to gain her digits with your dashing charm, enter them properly into your cell phone on a hazy Saturday night and you’ve made the all important initial call on Sunday evening (around 9ish) to set up dinner. She ACTUALLY picked up, said yes, And you’ve made the “save the date” magnet for your refrigerator. Fantastic.

We’ll go over first date attire, and etiquette in a later post, but most importantly lets talk about the “Rule of Inches.”

You’re going to have plenty of things of things on your mind before hand, but the true litmus test on how excited she is for this date can be measured in inches.

Her Heel Height, that is.

When she arrives, make sure to give her a hug, no handshakes, this isn’t business (unless you called a 1-800 number), and yes, wait to sit before she does. Pulling the chair is great and all but the host will do it, and it’s just TOO much. Gestures like that are for later down the road once you’ve settled into your nests and you need to make up for that dumb ass thing you did before dinner.

As she sits, take a glance down south and start analyzing her shoes. It’s like reading her poker face, but with the numbers written on her face. The true insight into a woman can be read through her shoes.

Lets begin shall we? ( The accompanying pictures should help you out with Shoe Terminology)

THESE are FLATS.

FLATS:

She’s got better things to do tonight, but wanted to give you a shot. She can’t quite recall whether or not you were truly funny or if it was just the cosmo , but she was curious. She didn’t want to go UGGs on you, but declared Comfort over Sexy, so you’ve got an uphill battle.

UGGS:

Why are you dating an 18 year old. Stop reading my column and tell “To Catch A Predator” to do a special on you.

1 INCH HEEL:

OK! She was excited about you, but wanted to keep it to herself. She’s cautious, not flamboyant (but can be later), and is ready to tell you her life story so get ready for that listening test! She’s smart, is a bit of a tease, and very confident. Didn’t need to pull out the high guns for this one, because her character is what’s going to be on display tonight. So if you’re thinking you’re going to see her naughty side, it’s not going to happen.

2 INCH HEEL:

OH, she remembers you! Loved your chiseled body, and WANTED to go home with you that night, but didn’t dare do the walk of shame or have to EXPLAIN to her roommates what happened. WHY? Because she actually DOES want her roommates’ approval, and if you guys started on that note, it’d be an uphill battle for HER. Even though her girlfriends would ‘pretend’ to approve of the whole thing, when it went sour, they’d just point to that first night. SO, this first date is really her way of saying, SEE, He’s actually really cool. That’s why we had sex.

Just Dripping Hot

3INCH HEEL:

She doesn’t give a crap about you. Yes, you were cute and all, but she’s in this for the free dinner, the never ending compliments, and she really just came out because she likes getting dressed up in general. She knows she’s hot, she likes feeling sexy because she is, and her shoes are more important than you. Sorry bud. You’re going to have to play hard to get. She’s used to dating guys, but you do have one thing going for you. She’s BORED. All the guys that have taken her out have been greased up Marina dweebs. You wonder why gorgeous women are married to the ‘not so good looking’ guy? Because their personality was unique, wasn’t all over her, and stood his ground. So don’t be nervous, STAND OUT, and be BOLD. Say things you normally wouldn’t and don’t be conservative. Let the NAUGHTY you OUT!

RUN like FOREST!!!

SNEAKERS/RUNNING SHOES:

RUN!!!it’s completely ok to bounce. Run like Usain Bolt, and if you have enough courage, just ask her to switch shoes so you can run faster. Why she would wear tennis/running shoes to a dinner date is beyond me, but if you’re taking a girl out who WOULD wear this to dinner, you’ve got bigger issues.

SO there ya’ have it. A quick little test for you to see what she thinks of you and how you should play the dinner game. Remember, you always have to adjust and a good man knows that he must play different cards depending on the situation.

Don’t be that same stagnant guy otherwise you’re missing out on the whole point of dating. You’re trying on new “You’s” as well.

OH, one more thing…

Always, always show up on time. Yes, playing the casually late card is fun, but the last thing you want is her to question whether or not you’re coming or if you forgot. If she gets on that line of thought, the already very thin foundation you poured on Saturday night will begin melting away. Don’t start losing points before the game even starts ok?

XOXO Gossip Girl