Put It Together!

Dr. Love is BACK! Took a vacation to the Bahamas, ate and drank like a king, Ripped some Lip, and now I’m back on the keyboard with racks of data.

Recently, I’ve had a few buddies ask me about what to do on their dates.  It’s a great question, and most often, guys simply fail at “Putting it Together.” Like a well thought out outfit, a date isn’t simply a one piece suit, it consists of layers and textures, so if you’re thinking that dinner alone will impress, go take your mom out.

Women want a guy, at least on the first date, to take some initiative. Her maternal instincts are grading you on whether or not you have the ability to actually ‘look ahead’ and PLAN. Guys who falter at the starting line, will never see the checkered flag, so take a few minutes and figure it out.

On the first date, 90% of the date should be something simple, such as going to dinner, but the second part of the evening is where you throw in a little ‘You.’ Dinner is the basic jeans and nice shirt, but you want to stand out among the other thousands of SF fellas looking to investigate her drawers…

Here are some great after dinner options in the city to help you stand out from the crowd.

** Skip dessert at the table and head over to Ghiradelli Square. It’s somewhat touristy, but the people there keep the vibe upbeat and exciting, and no girl’s going to say no to sharing a chocolate sundae with you while looking out onto the moonlit bay.

( Come here after a dinner in Russian Hill. Mix Frascati and a trip down here, and you’ve just leveled up my friend)

** Make her think. SF is loaded with great intellectual spots. A romantic, beautiful place for an after dinner chat and view is the Hamon Tower at the DeYoung. This view gazing locale with a 360 degree panorama of SF is a quiet spot for a one on one with plenty of options to talk about. Plus, a little hardwood slow dance is always in the cards.

(Come here after a dinner at Spruce, and you’ve just mounted your head on the “Ultimate Prized Possessions” block.

Ya know what they say, a cupcake isn’t complete without some sprinkles. Gotta spinkle a lil love onto that benign dinner date to really add some PO PO ZAO to the mix.

So the next time you’re planning that date, Put It All Together. Make the combo match, just like you would make your outfit match. Streamline the date, be assertive, and sprinkle a lil some some onto that date.

The Big V Day -Cards

So Cards…

If you’re above the age of 5, you should not be sending cards with a pre written message.

Ya’ know that pink stuff in your head? Use it.

Layers People...

The key to a Valentine’s day message is keeping it extremely simple but oozing with layers. Your card will be the onion of romance; depth but in 5 quick sentences.

You want her to read it in less than 20 seconds, build up the tears, and then let the eyelash dam break, letting loose a flood of tears all over your heart pounding card.

Ready?

******

Do NOT start the card with “Dear”. This isn’t your first card, and it’s to someone you care about. So just “Name” and comma.

The first sentence should be extremely open and vulnerable. Let her know that she’s going to get a peek, for just a second, at your more sensitive side. Go with something like,

“I’ve never been very good at expressing what I truly feel inside, but I have a comfort with you that I’ve never felt before and I hope I can convey how much you truly mean to me“

BAM!

This sets up the WHOLE letter.

You give off the PERCEPTION that you’re opening yourself up, when you’re really not. BUT she thinks that she’s in for a real treat, which is the key.

Like a musician sets his stage, you need to set her mind for this card, and this opening will leave her reeling for more. She thinks she’s in for a deep dive into your heart, which is kind of true but not really.

When you say that you have a comfort with her that you’ve never felt before, she’ll be drawn to you. Building a mental one on one connection with her is extremely valuable and powerful. You want her to feel like she’s the only one in your world, and you just did with that line.

Next…

Tell her something general about your relationship from the time you met to now. What’s the one thing about this relationship that’s different from any other relationship you’ve ever had. Go with something like:

“You’ve instilled in me a passion to truly be me without fear, and I hope I can return that by bigging your biggest fan“

ok wow… That’s sexy. Here’s why:

You’re letting her know that she played a role in shaping your life (EVEN if she didn’t). You’re letting her know that she played a strong role in your life, and ya know what? She wants to.

So you’re conveying to her that you’ve been able to grow and mature into a stronger person because of her, and every girl, EVERY girl, wants to feel like she has had a signifigant impact in your life.

Then you closed the sentence by saying you are her “biggest fan’, which basically hits the home run. All she wants in life is someone to support her life goals, and her in general. So you were able to convey in this one little sentence, that you are both molding each other’s lives into becoming stronger individuals but doing it TOGETHER.

Now that the plane has taken off, we actually need to bring it back down now. Remember this is a quick flight.

Next:

” So thank you for being so wonderful to me, and I can’t wait to share future Valentine’s with you…“

Oh man, the “…” here is just killer.

On any other night, eluding to the future is a bit much, but on this sacred 14th, it’s ok. She’ll be caught up in the moment, because she will have been surrounded by Valentine’s day all week. The day will seep into her veins, so it’s ok.

Plus, she’ll love that you see ANY future and that you’re not going to head to the seas for bigger tuna.

Now sum it up:

“Happy Valentine’s Day (insert name)“

and the ending, Oh, the ending. DO NOT use sincerely. She is not your 3rd grade teacher. it is this, and always this:

Always Yours,

(insert your name)

DAMN. That is a V Day Bomb of LOVE.

Now….DO IT.

The Big V Day – Flowers

As I mentioned before. You are not doing roses, a drugstore card, or taking her out to dinner. You know why, but if you HAVE to resort to these, here’s how to execute:

A) Flowers

You’re dating her because she’s unique.

Something about her peaks your interests from the thousands of other sardines out there. So the flowers you get her Should and HAVE to reflect this.

So let me help:

If she’s the happy go lucky, always smiling chica: Spring Mix. (they’re bright, fun and youthful)

SPRING MIX

If she’s the go getter business tycoon: A beautiful Orchid. (they’re sophisticated, elegant and reflects her sharply dressed, killer heels, personality)

ORCHID

BONSAI

If she’s a nature lover: Bonsai. (YES, believe it. They’re a small nature scene in a pot and she will love it. )

If she’s the girly girl: A vase of 12 bright colored tulips. ( Because she’ll think they’re so Damn” CUUUUUUTESY!”)

NO ROSES.

THESE ARE TULIPS

Valentines…

The much anticipated Valentines edition has arrived. (You can breath…)

OH. EM. GEE. WTF is THIS?

Check back daily this week, because I’ll be dropping heart melting tips that will levitate you to EGO Bloating Kanye Status.

So without further adieu, lets get started…

*****

Before we begin anything, you need to know one thing.

Why this day is important for her.

You may think you know, but as always, you don’t. That’s why I’m Dr. Love and you’re “I sit at home with Doritos reading a love blog.” (insert wink emoticon)

*****

She loves this day because… she loves you.

Let me explain.

Valentine’s day isn’t some man trap that she uses to explode the years worth of crap that’s been bugging her about you when you fail to do something great on this special day.

It’s actually HER excuse to do something really cute for you.

It’s her excuse to be SUPER girly without having to feel guilty and afraid you’re going to freak out. She has the opening to become the closet “Notebook” lover on this Hallmark Holiday.

At Midnight they Turn Psycho.

She just wants 1 day out of the year to be her GIRLY self without any fear of becoming Kate Hudson in “How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days”

She wants to wear something special underneath for YOU. She wants to treat you like a god in bed, because she loves YOU. She wants to brag to her friends about YOU because she loves YOU.

So, when February 14th comes rolling around, she’s not looking for a lear jet ride to the Santa Barbara Coast for a Michelin Star dinner with “QuickFire” challenge portions.( Top Chef rocks, you should be watching it.)

She just wants a decent opening given by you, so she can do the rest.

However….The opening isn’t as easy as you think. So lets giddy up!

*****

This week, if you give roses, a Drugstore card, or take her out to dinner, you will have failed. Yes, some men, ahem, MOST men will do this. Why? (Because they haven’t caught on to the GREATEST blog in the world)

You’re a special one, and the girl you’re dating is in for one heck of a treat, because you’re going to STAND OUT from every other lame dude that bought her roses, added a Garfield card on it, and took her to dinner.

LAME.

BO RING.

*****

Valentines Day this year lands on Saturday. That’s Huge. Why?

Because you get to pull off the “Valentines Day Double Decker.” Friday is your wingman, and Valentines day will start on the 13th this year.

Here’s how you’ll play this out.

Let her know that you have something planned for Saturday and for her to keep it open. ( She’s already kept this day open since last Valentines day, but whatever. Tell her you have something planned, and that she should be ready to spend the day with you. )

What she doesn’t know, is that Friday after work, the 2009 Valentines day adventure begins.

To start the weekend off right, order TAKE OUT from her favorite restaurant or food joint in the city. Pay attention to the details. Think about her favorite meals throughout the year.

Did she love a cupcake from a certain bakery? Get it.

Does she love a certain cocktail? Make it.

Is she a milk or dark chocolate girl? Find out and get LOTS of it.

Pinot or chardonnay? Get It.

Sushi? Well obviously… GET IT.

And you MUST MUST bring a jar of melted chocolate and a basket of strawberries. Don’t get the pre dipped kind, because you’re about to play just the tip with those red devils together.

Why all of this? Because you’re doing ‘Dinner in Bed’.

Text her at 2ish that afternoon and let her know that you’ll be waiting for her at her place after work. It’ll peak her interests, and she won’t be able to concentrate on work for the rest of the day.

Text something simple like:

” I’ll meet you at your place after work tonight. You’ll be in good hands. “

A) It’s very direct. You got a plan, and a man with a plan can NOT be ignored.

B) “You’ll be in good hands” lightens up the text, and it’ll be the trigger line that peaks her interest and get her brain flowing about what’s going on.

C) The wink emoticon lets her know that you have something ‘cute’ planned because you had the courage to use a ‘cute’ emoticon. DUDE.

*****

Dr.Love's Valentine.

Surprise her when she gets back from work with a ‘picnic’ on her bed. Lay out a nice table cloth, light a few candles ( Never more than 5. Capiche?), and hook your iPod up with a nice acoustic mix. (the sound of an acoustic guitar has been proven to increase her blood pressure and lose all control of her consciousness from a Harvard Study in 2008 )

She will be blown away.

And when she walks through the door, wrap your arms around her, look her straight in the eye and deliver this line:

” I know Valentines day is tomorrow( pause and look RIGHT into her eyes) but to be honest, (shrug)I don’t need a special day to treat you the way you deserve to be treated. (Bring her in a bit more tight now and run your fingers down the small of her back)

PAUSE.

” I’m reminded all the time how lucky I am to fall asleep with someone so special, enjoy the highest of highs and lowest of lows with someone who actually understands me (Champagne bottles will be going off in her head right now, because she CONSTANTLY wants to know that she and only SHE, knows you best) and get to share moments just like this with you.”

THEN. Kiss her gently right on the forehead, lean back, look into her eyes (let her soak in those knee weakening lines, and then plant one on her)

You just made the girl fall. I mean FALL.

*****

Here’s why the Feb 13th early Valentines day will blow her mind:

She’ll NEVER see it coming and it’ll show that even though you were aware of the Holiday, you made the effort to go the extra mile to make sure that the ENTIRE weekend focuses on her, and JUST her.

You made it unique to her, because it wasn’t your favorite meal, it was hers, and she’ll recognize that you had to plan in advance to get all of this put together.

AND WHO, WHO Had the Cajones to drag this already gut wrenching holiday into 2 days? YOU.

OH….and

Every one of her girlfriend’s boyfriends hates you right now.

Check back tomorrow for what to do on the actual 14th. PEACE.

STRIP Her Down.

She is a book.

She’s not a mystery, she’s not an enigma, she’s a book, and she wears her storyline for all to read.

Problem is, most men haven’t learned the ‘clothes language’, but today you’re going to find out exactly what she’s saying by her night attire.

********

Lets start with the underwear…

Oh yes, she wants you to peak...

IF, and I mean IF, you somehow get a glance at her waist line and you see the soft traces of lace underwear, you’ve hit the jackpot.

She does NOT wear these to look at herself.

When she wears ’sexy’, she ‘feels’ sexy, and that means she’s ready to ‘be’ sexy…

If she’s donning the lace underwear, she’s expecting to have someone take a peek, and that just might be you.

Girls HATE being caught in the hot heavy moment with you and realizing that they have on despicable underwear.

Which brings me to my next article of clothing…

Straight up White Cotton Underwear…

She is NOT interested tonight and if you think you have the charm to reel this in, guess what… you don’t.

If she’s out on the town, wearing these, her entire mindset is not on the nightscene, it’s on a pint of Hagen Daz and sweats.

Her girlfriends dragged her out, and she’s just along for the ride.

She doesn’t intend to do any serious mingling, so be aware. Cotton may be Jordan’s favorite, but it doesn’t bode well for your goals…

The Thong…

I'm going with 'B' on this one...

Now the thong is deceiving.

You may think it’s the ultimate party sign, but it’s actually a 50/50 toss up.

Why?

Because…

a) she’s just wearing them so there aren’t crease lines popping when she dons her tight jeans OR

b) she’s actually down to play, so Game On!

So be aware of the tales of her underwear. It truly is the “gate” to the holy land, so it tells the evening’s story the best…

Moving on.

Sweat Pants: She could give a damn.

Turtle Neck: She’s cold. She’s a cold BIAT%^, and you are of NO interest to her…

Tube Top: Ahem… She’s confident, has the proper ‘tools’ to fill out the top and she’s dangling the bait waiting for your eyes to go south. Stay straight eyed, lock eyes, and make sure you deliver a killer smile when you introduce yourself.

She’s open for conversation and is out to meet someone new, but isn’t desperate. She’s had a life filled with come ons, so let her know from the get go that you could care less about her 2 very intriguing buddies, and offer her a drink.

She’ll take it.

Mini Skirt: She’s playful, loves her legs, but as much as you think this piece is trying to attract you, it’s more of a solid piece in her warm weather collection.

What she’s really interested in is getting a tan on her pipes, so don’t jump the gun. All because it’s short doesn’t necessarily mean she’s ready to make it shorter.

Fur Coat: Go ahead, just puke on her, she deserves it.

Dangling Earrings: She loves fashion and she loves completing her night look with some type of unique piece. Dangling earrings are sophisticated, beautiful, and she wants you to pay attention to what’s in between them. Her Brain.

So get ready for a good session of brain sex.

Blouse: She’s independent and doesn’t need you at all. BUT she does love a good cuddle.

The blouse is the career minded fashion piece, and she’s used to making hard decisions and proving she’s equal to her male counterparts in this piece.

So when she’s in her power shirt, let her know that you’re not trying to ‘win’ her. Respect her path, and tell her this important line, “You should be really proud of yourself”. She’ll be puddy in your hands.

She’s been wanting someone else other than herself to tell her that, so let her know that her career ambitions are hot and that you’re not afraid of them.

She’ll be your new CEO… in bed.

*****

So those are some basic tips to help you begin to dissect her night mood. She’s wearing her book, so you gotta learn her language.

She wants you to succeed. She really does. But she’s had one to many guys ‘misread’ her clothing, and use the wrong approach.

So remember these little tips the next time you feel like settling into a good read so you can finish the book.

Less is ALWAYS More.

The Key to ‘The Chase’ is actually… ‘Being Chased.’

Nothing's Better Than 'The Chase'

All too often men just do too much.

From the medieval days, men have donned silver suits, rode in on 4 legs, and pronounced their love as if Dragons truly did exist.

Fellas, when it comes to getting the one you want, remember, less is always more. The key is making enough of a presence in her life that when you’re not in it for a few days, she actually notices. The fly that is constantly buzzing eventually gets smacked down. Hard.

You’ve got a target in sight, you’ve got her number and you’re on the path to chip away at her locked up heart. Well, it’s not about taking a sledge hammer to it with expensive gifts, big trips, and extravagant offerings. It’s all about the small things, because when you go absent for awhile, she’ll realize she’s missing something.

Texts:

ERROR: “Hey, how are you? Hope your day is going well and can’t wait to see you sometime this weekend!”

* The problem with this is that you chased the ENTIRE time! You laid out a plan and didn’t leave room for her to ‘want’. Remember, the key to the chase is BEING Chased. Your text should be an amuse buche. Something that gives her a sensational taste that leaves her wanting more.

CORRECTION: “Just wanted to say hi, hope you’re having a great day.”

* This will get her brain spinning like the cups at Disney land. It was vague, but showed that you were thinking about her. It was non directional, so you aren’t forcing her to do anything, and it was essentially heartfelt and cute.

The above text leaves room for her to actually respond in a fun flirty way, as texts should be!

She’ll respond back with…”Awww, thanks! What are you up to?” which essentially begins her chase for you without her even knowing. You want to open it up so that you are always mentally volleying back and forth. So this text allows you to reel in that spinner bait so that you can eventually ask your real question, which is weekend plans, at a later text.

Remember, the key to rippin’ lip is letting that fish follow that bait until she’s ready to take it whole.

Dinner:

ERROR: Fancy 4 star French Restaurant

*Sure, every movie from Kung Fu Panda to 16 Candles will lead you to believe that going posh, fancy and high class is the road to her heart, but really, you’re throwing cotton in her mouth, and throwing her into a very very uncomfortable situation. Feeling out someone new is always a bit nerve racking, in a way, that’s kind of the fun of the moment. So don’t go somewhere where her feelings/nervousness can be so readily visible. A more down to earth, louder place will ease both of your nerves, and allow you to actually HANG OUT rather than test etiquette skills.

CORRECTION: Small Corner Bistro

*You don’t want someone to fall for you because of your wallet do you? What’s really on display at dinner is you, not the menu, not the restaurant, not the amount of cash in your ETRADE 3.3% Money Market Savings Account.

Let the louder atmosphere cover your mis slips, let the lighter atmosphere allow you to relax, and let her mind chase you to a better restaurant. Set yourself up to one up your own self. Start at the Bistro and really wow her on the 3rd date, when the bedroom playdate is set. Get it…? Leave her wanting more. Always. The key to your relationship death is boredom.

Boredom will kill you like a bird in an airplane engine that lands in the Hudson.

Drinks:

ERROR: Buying her the bar

* Puke doesn’t belong in the sheets.

CORRECTION:2 Drinks and the well is cut off

Get her buzzed, it’s the best high of the night. A giddy girl is a happy girl.

Really Bad Date

So when you’re deciding on this and that, just remember one thing. LESS IS ALWAYS MORE.

Let it Melt…

I'm Mellllllllting!

When it comes to her heart, your Lacoste shoes, perfect hair, or dashing smile will do nothing but open her eyes. The best tool you have is your brain, and whether or not you have the right arsenal of words to make that heart melt like M&Ms on a Blacktop.

Articulating thoughts may seem easy, but when it comes to dissecting her iron wall, you’re going to need steel plated words to puncture her 10ft thick wall of, “Heeeeellll No.”

So let me unravel a few rounds to my fellow gentleman of SF so you can indulge in the glory of her castle.

******

“Tell me about your mom(family)”

*She’s thinking: “Oh hon, you have NO idea what you’re in for!”

Getting to know the people that matter most in her life will go a LONG way. She’s who she is because of her family. Good or Bad. So take the time to do the deep dive and keep those wings next to your head open. Listen. Listen.Listen. When she talks about her family she is essentially telling you in monkey code all the things that truly make her happy in life. So PAY ATTENTION.

For instance, she loves Sunday brunch with her mom.

This tells you:

A) That she loves to dump her feelings to people who will listen

B) Enjoys 1 on 1 time, so she keeps a very select few girlfriends in the loop ALWAYS

C) She likes to dress up and feel pretty. That’s half the fun of brunch to them. ( So take her out to places she can get dolled up for)

D) Food is the key to her heart. She didn’t say she loved ’shopping’ with her mom, she said she loved ‘brunch’ with her mom. So she likes making that palette of hers sing, so get ready for some sushi bills.

Ok...So iPods are cool too.

“You’re going to look KILLER in that swimsuit!”

* She’s thinking: “Oh YES he Did!”

Want to know what women fear more than spiders crawling on their face and laying eggs in their nose?

The pool side fashion show.

She won’t care WHEN you say this, because it’ll let her know that you completely love her body, and nothing makes her feel more comfortable and sexy than when you acknowledge what she hates the most about herself. She wants to know that all those side salads, water bottles, and SMALL servings of gelato are doing Something.

So remind her always, that in the end, you fell in love with her because her soul wrapped up in a bikini is god’s gift to you.

Playa!

“It’s Okay, I Want to go Slow…”

*She’s thinking: “Yeah Right…”

The first time you’re with someone, and you’re ‘feeling out’ the moment, there’s only one thing you want her to know.

You care more about HER than the sex.

She’s going to have a million things on her mind.

“Oh god,I feel SO fat”, “Damn, I should have shaved my legs!”, “What smells!?”, “Ugh, Not in these panties!” etc…

So ease her mind, and fill that doubting mind of hers with the confidence she needs and deserves. She likes you, that’s why you’re here, but take it slow, and let her know that making her feel comfortable is what’s most important.

Now, you may think you’re ultimately putting the brakes on your own moves, but ironically, this simple line will blow her love meter through the roof. Knowing that a guy isn’t just gunning for the panty opera is a huge turn on, and show’s that you’re into her, not just the cave.

So dim the lights, seduce her with your affection, because in time, she’s going to make you her personal playground.

“I’m Sorry…”

*She’s thinking: “Oh crap….He’s the one.”

Have you ever seen a wine bottle being corked? Yup, you throw this line at them and she won’t know what happened. Remember, she’s been keeping tab of all the things that have been pissing her off for months in her hand basket of ‘you’ grenades. However, she is a sly beast. Waiting patiently for a moment like this to bomb your head off.

BUT WAIT, you just corked that anger and made her gushy little heart melt. Yes, you did. And Yes, she did.

“These are the Goals I want to accomplish”

*She’s thinking: “Wait, he doesn’t just want to drink all the time?”

She may enjoy the frat guy for 1 night, but she’s Always looking for the keeper. Guys with direction are few and far between, and letting her know that you have certain goals you want to accomplish will do one thing. EASE her mind.

The vast majority of men out there have one thing in mind. Friday and Saturday.

So let her know that you’re not 1 of the million.

She doesn’t want to date Mr. Friday Night High School Football QB, She wants to date Mr. I Played Football in High School and now I’m dominating the World.

Guys with no compass are like centipedes with heads on either end. Going Nowhere.

So show her that you’re on a life path, and she’ll settle into your heart and spoon your life for good.

2009 – It’s Time

The New Year is here, and with it, some helpful resolutions to make sure you dominate ‘09 like a champ.

Happy New Year

1. Talk to a Stranger. Anybody.

* The next time you’re waiting for the bus, standing in line at the grocery store, etc, make a point to say hi. Your world is developed by the people in it, and it never hurts to grow your network. Don’t have to have a heart to heart, but see how someone’s day is going and see where the conversation leads. Plus, it’ll help build your confidence when it’s time to really talk to a ’stranger’.

2. Cut out the ‘Last One’

* You know the ‘Last One’ is unnecessary and will only make your morning miserable. The ‘Last One’ leaves you useless for post bar activities, and in the end, one more shot or brew is only going to leave you truly empty handed.

3. Learn a magic trick

* Trust me, at some point this year you’re going to need to rescue a dire situation. EVERYBODY, loves a good magic trick, so keep one in your mental closet and bust out when necessary. It’s even better when she notices you’ve won over the crowd.

4. Gym It. Now.

* Do it for yourself. 5-10 years from now you won’t be as dashing as you are now, so put in some wrench time and make sure to sculpt your future. 3x a week, and make it a habit. She’s going to love your body, but even more than that, she’ll love the fact that you’re dedicated. 6 pack abs don’t form from on and off behavior, it’s being able to stay on course. She loves it when you’re a man that will do anything to achieve.

5. Order a Take Out Meal and hand to someone in need

* Just be a good person. The next time you’re ordering, remember to order for 1 more. The guy who doesn’t have it as good as you. It’s not a gimmick to make her fall for you, it’s a reminder that you’re a lucky person and you should never forget that.

6. Pursue Her.

* Time only moves, so get on the train and ride it. No excuses. Play like a champion. She’s not unattainable, she’s only unattainable if you put her on that pedastool. Every girl in the end only wants 1 thing. ONE thing. Someone who loves her for her. So get her. 2009, is your year.

7. Green IS an alternative

* Oh, you think ordering the side salad instead of the fries makes you look like a PU$$Y!? Guess what, girls usually like the guy without the side order around his waist. So opt for the green, chow down 1 less late night pizza, and stop buying the goodies at Safeway. Trust me, when Summer rolls around, you won’t look like a Pu$$y, because you’ll be getting it.

8. Save, Always.

*Retire like a champion. Every month, every time, put some away. Life’s a marathon, enjoy all of it, not just the early sprint.

9. Plan The Getaway

*Stop saying you want to go, Just go. You’re in your prime, so plan the vacation of your dreams. Find a 3 day weekend, and book the flight to where you’ve always wanted to go. Get away, and go by yourself. Sometimes you need to enjoy…you.

10. Live

* No matter what, simply color your life. Paint every minute and make it last, because new minutes will continuously rain on you. If you want to do it, do it. If you want to say it, say it. If you want to text it, run it, hit it, hate it, love it, visit it, win it, JUST DO IT.

Never Ever let your life pass, because when you’re on your last few minutes you want to fall asleep to your mental scrapbook of color. Black and white went out of fashion Years ago.

Cheers,

Wingman

DUDE…

Never wear jeans at the gym. Ever.

Unless your Chuck.

While we’re on the subject, never, EVER, bust out the polo at the gym either. And if you decide to pop the collar there, then I hope it begins to rain weights R I G H T over Y O U.

Tangles are just Milestones

Each step you take, you leave behind a strand of your life.

As I write to you today, on this soon to be word littered page, I leave behind my words, but again, I leave behind my strand.

From the moment you first awoke to this world, you were essentially a giant ball of human string. A life reel, just waiting to unravel.

Get Tangled.

And with every step forward, you have left behind the string that is your life.

Step back, and pause. Give the line some slack, and take a look. You have created a web that even Charlotte would be proud of. From your recess days to your college days, and now here, in your SF Bachelor days, you have left behind a line of life that you should feel proud of.

In the world of dating, you will use up endless amounts of your ball, but here’s the thing. An intricate life pattern is always better than the stale ‘one liner.’

Therefore, I want you to realize that when your line gets tangled in your volatile search for true love, and most likely it will, look back at the knots as a milestone and not something to look down upon.

Break ups, bad dates, terrible girlfriends, the one that got away, and so on, are all knots that you actually WANT to have.

Too many times, I see guys getting caught up in the tangles, but what you should really do, is realize that these knots in your life strand are the solid steps you have created that have elevated you to where you are now.

There will be moments when you think that you’ll never get her, there will be times you wish you had a life rewind button, and there will be experiences you wish you could take back. But these knots, are your biggest achievements.

*****

Your ex should be your reminder that you didn’t settle and went searching for better.

Your bad date should be a reminder that for your ‘true’ love, you’ll deliver the line better.

Your drunk dial should be a reminder that everyone makes mistakes.

Your lack of ’stamina’ will be your reminder to pace yourself.

Your ex’s bf will be your reminder that there is indeed a god and he’s a comic.

Your never returned calls should be your reminder that every girl makes mistakes and lets Mr. Right escape.

Your mistake on forgetting her birthday and anniversary should be a reminder that you can always go bigger and better. (Play like a champion)

*****

When you look back on a line of rope, the thing that will make it stand out will be the tangles and knots every few feet. A rope without, well… it’s just a piece of rope.

So don’t get so down on a simple tangle, because you’ve got plenty more coming down your pipeline.

C'mon, Can you really have too much Minka?

They’ll make you realize that you can only do better, and she might even come in the form of Lyla Garrity.